The term is only a few days old and already we are in top gear. A notable event in this first week was the meeting on Wednesday for any interested Senior School girl to discuss her thoughts, suggestions and questions about sexual assault and harassment.
Many girls shared their thoughts with me last term, as individuals or in groups, and having had some excellent discussions with them, this was an opportunity to continue the discussion with a broader group. Around 70 girls, mostly from Year 9 upwards, attended and it was immediately obvious that one session wouldn’t be enough. Our girls have a lot to say.
The first question I put to them was very simple: how do the issues raised in the public debate fit with your own experiences?
Interestingly, the first response was from a Year 12 girl who said she thought that – contrary to the way the issue had been framed in recent weeks – the consent education offered at school generally delivered what they needed to know at an appropriate time. Instead, the big question for her was ‘why do boys keep doing this anyway?’
And so we were off and running…
Some of the views offered included:
- Students should be taught about bodily autonomy right from Kindergarten. [They are.]
- Students should be taught about sexual consent in explicit terms – with views about an appropriate starting age varying from Year 3 through to Year 8. [We start being explicit about sexual relationships, as opposed to general bodily autonomy, in Years 7 and 8.]
- Social media has been useful in opening their eyes to the nature and ubiquity of sexual assault and harassment.
- Parents don’t talk at all, or talk enough, about sex or sexual consent. [At which point, a Year 10 put up her hand and described how her father had given her a very forthright and helpful talk when she was ten years old. The other girls were impressed.]
- We need to talk about the issues much, much more but:
– girls may not be willing to tell their parents if something bad happens because they fear being told off for whatever else might be going on – being drunk, or at a party, or sexually active etc;
– girls may not be willing to share their experiences with each other for fear of being judged or ‘slut-shamed’;
– girls may not be willing to share their experiences with teachers ‘because they’re teachers’;
– all of which means that girls may not feel they can tell anyone.
- We need to understand more about alcohol and drugs and their relationship to sexual assault.
- Girls should be taught strategies to deal with unwanted advances and pressure to engage in sexual activity. [They are.]
…and the list goes on…and on…
Our long and complex discussion can’t adequately be summarised here, but it was fascinating and curiously uplifting to hear the girls engaging with the ideas so intelligently and thoughtfully. I will be exploring their views further in follow-up sessions but probably the only real surprise for me was the number of girls who described incidents of harassment from their time in co-ed primary schools. There were a number accounts of deliberate, unwanted touching – often as part of playground games or the usual bustle of corridors and doorways – and while I acknowledge that unwanted touching is not limited to boys, the accounts on this occasion were all in this category and there were more of them than I expected.
The public debate is heated at the moment and there have been some excellent responses – symposia, articles, seminars and so on. It is important, however, that we also step back and ensure that we are asking the right questions. The latest headlines erupted because a university student issued a survey that framed the problem as arising out of the inadequacy of sexual consent education. At a recent meeting attended by school principals, NSW Police, the Minister for Education, the Sex Discrimination Commissioner and others, I asked the experts in the room whether there was any evidence that sexual consent education could reduce peer-on-peer sexual assault. The answer was, effectively, ‘no’. Currently, there is no evidence to show that education empowers potential victims or deters potential perpetrators. Nor do we have data that would support one education program over another or even give guidance on age-appropriate content.
That the research hasn’t been done is no reason to abandon the attempt – and in fact, we are already developing some ideas about how we can broaden and deepen our work with the girls. But given that the contributing factors are numerous, intertwined and poorly understood, it is worth exploring the issues carefully before deciding how to commit our energy, attention and resources.
Parents will be crucial in this and we would like to hear your thoughts, suggestions and questions in a Listening Session on campus in a few weeks’ time. The aim is to ensure that we understand your perspective on the issues, your views on how we can best support the girls, and your views on how we can support you to support them.
The Listening Session will be 6:30pm – 8:00pm on Monday, 10 May 2021. The format and venue will be determined according to the number of participants, so we ask those who are coming to register their interest by emailing community@queenwood.nsw.edu.au.
As we have done with the girls, we will be posing a few basic questions and listening carefully as the conversation opens up – and of course, we are happy to answer your questions on the night.
Finally, I bring to your attention Online Safety Webinars for parents from the Office of the eSafety Commissioner. Click on the links in the notice below to sign up.